


Never Should’ve Fallen in Love

by theinsandoutsofcastiel



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, F/M, Mention of Reader's death
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-04
Updated: 2016-07-04
Packaged: 2018-07-19 23:38:16
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 835
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7382182
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/theinsandoutsofcastiel/pseuds/theinsandoutsofcastiel
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Could I please have a sad Crowley fic? Thank you!</p>
            </blockquote>





	Never Should’ve Fallen in Love

Warnings: Angst, mention of Reader’s death

Fic:

“I never should’ve fallen in love,” Crowley says to the baby in his arms, “She was always too good for me. I never understood what she saw in me; but for some reason, out of all the people in Heaven, Earth, and Hell, she chose me.” The baby coos, making Crowley smile a heartbroken smile.

“She’s the only one who ever truly loved me and that love is what got her killed,” Crowley continues, “I changed because of her. She made me believe that I could be better, and for a time I was. Now though, now I’m nothing. Without her I’m lost, nothing will ever be the same and I don’t know how to go on without her.” The baby clenches her fist around Crowley’s finger, holding on tightly as if she were trying to tell him she understood.

“It was all my fault,” Crowley says, “If I hadn’t loved her, she wouldn’t have been a target. Those demons killed her to hurt me and I’m sorry. I’m sorry that I cost her life, that you have to grow up without a mother, that you have me as a father.” She looks up at Crowley as if she already forgave him; none of this was Crowley’s fault even if he said otherwise.

“I wish she hadn’t truly loved me,” Crowley says sadly, “Or at the very least that she had fallen out of love with me after you were born. I never really deserved her anyway. If it weren’t for me, she would still be here. You would still have a mother and I wouldn’t have this aching emptiness that I feel right now.” A tear begins to trail down Crowley’s face.

“She was always better off without me,” Crowley says, “And you will be too. That’s why I have to give you up. You’re going to be just like her you know, strong, brave, and beautiful. I can’t be the one to ruin that for you, I won’t be. Sam and Dean were your mother’s best friends, they’ll love you like family and give you a better life than I ever could. Please don’t think that I’m giving you up because I don’t love you. It’s the opposite. I’m giving you up because I love you and I need to protect you. You’re the only thing I love as much as your mother. I don’t want to let you go, but if I don’t I’ll be putting you in danger. The demons who killed your mother will be looking for you too. I refuse to put you in danger, even if that means letting you go.”

“You really did love her, didn’t you?” Dean asks from the doorway. Crowley quickly wipes away his tears before turning to Dean.

“Well, she’s in Heaven now and I suppose there’s not much I can do about that,” Crowley says, trying not to show his true feelings in front of Dean.

“That doesn’t sound like something the King of Hell would say,” Dean says.

“What am I supposed to say?” Crowley asks, “I just lost the woman I love and now I’m losing my child, her child.”

“I don’t know,” Dean says, “I guess I just assumed you’d try to find a way to bring her back.”

“You think I haven’t tried?” Crowley questions, “I’ve tried everything I can think of, but even begging your flying monkey to bring her back did no good.”

“So what happens now?” Dean asks in return.

“You take care of my daughter, as agreed,” Crowley answers.

“And you?” Dean asks.

“I hunt down the demons who took Y/N from me and I make them wish they had never existed,” Crowley answers.

“She wouldn’t want that you know,” Dean says, “Y/N wouldn’t want you to go looking for revenge. It’ll only make things worse.”

“Then let it,” Crowley says, “I won’t let those demons get away with taking everything from me. I have to do this, for Y/N.”

“No, this is for you, not her,” Dean disagrees.

“She doesn’t have a say in this, she’s gone,” Crowley says angrily, the baby in his arms becoming upset. Crowley rocks her as she begins to cry. “I’m sorry Love, please don’t cry. It’s alright, Dean will take care of you.”

“It doesn’t have to be this way,” Dean says.

“Yes it does,” Crowley responds. Looking down at the baby in his arms, he pulls her close and places a kiss against her forehead. “I love you Darling,” he whispers. After a moment of hesitation, he passes the baby to Dean. “It has to be this way,” Crowley says, “Y/N was never supposed to love me and any amount of happiness I gained from her love was an accident. I suppose I’m finally getting what I deserve, I deserve to be alone. I’m no good for anyone.” Crowley snaps his fingers, leaving behind every trace of the life he had once hoped to lead.


End file.
